#include " win31.h "
#include " win95.h "
#include " evenmore.h "
#include " oldstuff.h "
#include " billrulz.h "

#define INSTALL = HARD

char make_prog_look_big[0xffffffff];

void main()
{
while(!CRASHED)
{
display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();

if (first_time_installation)
{
make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
hang_system();
uninstall_netscape_applications();
}

write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
void create_useless_network_traffic();
do_some_stuff();

if (still_not_crashed)
{
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_3.1();
do_nothing_loop();

if ( netscape_applications_reinstalled )
{
make_ie4_primary_browser();
gradually_disable_netscape_applications(all);
}
else
{
make_disks_spin_to_make_like_a_real_os_like_unix();
do_nothing_loop();
}
}
}

if (detect_cache())
disable_cache();

if ( too_many_applications_running )
{
start_crash_count_down();
begin_manadatory_file_corruption();

/* set_chkdsk_flag(); */

set_scan_disk_flag();
sync_registry();
disable_logins();
}

if (fast_cpu())
{
set_wait_states(lots);
set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
}

/* printf(" Welcome to Windows 3.11 "); */
/* printf(" Welcome to Windows 95 "); */

printf(" Welcome to Windows 98 ");

if (system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt);
else
system_memory = open(" a:\swp0001.swp ", O_CREATE);

while(something)
{
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);

if (novell_found)
{
mk_ipx_more_noisy();
make_new_connections_fail_randomly();
disconnect_printers();
attempt_to_remotely_crash_netware_server();
sleep(60);
launch_message(" You should switch to WinNT\n\n\n ");
}

if (! EXCHANGE_FOUND)
{
Prompt_repeatedly_for_user_to_install_exchange();
}

if (Connected_to_Internet)
{
Email_PC_Configuration_ToBill();
Email_List_Of_Installed_Apps_To_Bill();
Send_List_of_Illegal_Apps_To_FBI();
Send_Turbo_Tax_Data_Files_To_IRS();
}
}

if ( keypressed() || netscape_applications_installed || novell_applications_installed )
{
_reboot();
}
else
{
create_general_protection_fault();
}
}
}